Comparing Your Divorce to Others: Don’t Do It

going through a divorce

Divorce is an emotionally charged process, so it is sometimes challenging to think in a logical or practical frame of mind. It can also be easy for your feelings to cloud your judgments or decisions and therefore compromise the result of the settlement. There is also the involvement of family and friends, with some of them telling you what to do and making you believe that they know what you’re going through.

It is unavoidable for some friends or other family members to have a say when you’re going through a divorce. While most of the comments are well-intentioned, they can cause you to compare your divorce to others or follow unsolicited advice that can backfire in the future. They can also encourage more anger and hostility between parties and add more stress to the process.

Comparing divorces is never worth it.

Divorce lawyers in Suffolk County know that the problem with comparing is that it is counterproductive. It is not worth your time and energy, as it can only cause you to focus on other’s situation instead of your own. You have to keep in mind that every marriage or relationship is different, so no two divorces are alike. Furthermore, every case is unique, and laws are different in each state.

You can still listen to what your loved ones have to say, but never compare your divorce to them. Keep in mind that divorce cases are complicated, and several factors can come into play when settling. These include the reason for the breakup, the willingness of both spouses to communicate and compromise, the assets at stake, the age of the children, and more.

Amicable/civil divorce is possible.

divorce lawyer

You can have a good or an amicable divorce if you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse want to make it happen. This peaceful settlement, however, can be derailed if you focus on the ills of divorce that your friend has told you about. While they might insist that studies on such matter exist, they don’t necessarily have anything to do with your divorce and personal situation.

It is also not advisable to get advice from friends and loved one unless they practice family or divorce law professionally. This is especially true if they displayed terrible behavior when the marriage ended or during the divorce. Trying to compare or duplicate what they did is not worth your time and energy, as it will only keep from having an amicable divorce.

Others’ bad divorces will not affect yours.

Your friend burned his husband’s clothing on the front yard? Or your neighbor’s ex-spouse punctured his partner’s tires? These scenarios don’t have anything to do with your marriage dissolution, even if you have the same houses or your kids go to the same school. You friend or loved ones might have had a bad divorce, but it will not affect yours.

Instead of comparing divorces or listening to what your loved ones have to say, it is better to learn more about the divorce process, as well as the specific laws in your state. You can benefit from consulting a reliable divorce attorney who can examine your case and protect your rights. The right legal professional can also guide you through the process and help you secure your future.

Don’t run the risk of making your divorce uglier, more expensive, and time-consuming by comparing it to others. Your case is unique, so it is best to rule out suggestions or comments that are not from a legal professional.

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